Obama Takes First White House Poop

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

At 5:53am eastern standard time, President Obama took his first crap in the presidential pooper. He used green floral print with Presidential logo, double-ply Charmin to wipe his ass.

His aides refused to disclose whether he folds or balls his toilet paper. That info will not be released until after his first 100 days.

Obama, fulfilling his promise of change, said he was humbled to be the first president to allow "the people" see him in his most vulnerable position.

Update. It has just been reported that a sample of Obama's stool sample has just been put on eBay. Starting bid...Priceless.

There is a winning bid. However, the winner's name has not been disclosed but is said to be a high ranking member of the Republican National Committee who wants to determine why it doesn't stink.

Obama the racist. Period.

Obama campaigned hard on a race-bridging platform.

Oh, how we loved the story about his white grandparents and how Obama is the new, true face of Americana.

Pure, unadulterated bullshit.

Obama is a racist right up there with the likes of Trent Lott, Jesse Helms, Strom Thurmond, George Wallace, and David Duke.

You're waiting for proof. Hold on a second. The proof is in the pudding.

First, Katon Dawson is campaigning for the chairmanship of the Republican National Committee. However, he has resigned from an all white country club after that fact was made public. Why did he have to do that? What is wrong with associating with your race-common peers? We use that argument when we select juries, don't we.

We have black only organizations like the NAACP, Miss Black America, Mr. Black Olympia, and other black only events.

Barack Obama campaigned for the presidency of the United States while still a member of one of the most racist organizations in America--The Congressional Black Caucus.

Obama hails from Chicago, one of our most blatantly racially divided, not diverse, cities, which has its own political Black Caucus. Ironically, an alderman with an over 80% black constituency was denied membership to the Chicago Black Caucus because he was white.

How dare we say we are moving forward from our hurtful history of white-only water fountains, sports leagues, and schools when we elect a man who belongs to a race based organization. If Bush belonged to the Congressional White Caucus, oh, wait, there is no such thing as a white caucus. That would be deemed racist.

The reopend conflict about the satire, "Barack the Magic Negro lives in DC," should not be a conflict at all. It should read, "Barack the Racist Negro supports the BCC."

Oh, the audacity of Barack to say he is a race uniter.

Please, no coments about blacks can't be racist.

My sister is the biggest racist I know, and she is black. And she is one of the biggest Obama fanatics, too.

Birds of a feather.